Congratulations on making it through another difficult year!
Even if you are someone who thinks that they were not impacted head on by the pandemic, I’m here to remind you that every person’s life has been disrupted in some shape or form by Covid-19, yours too.
Making it through the ups and downs of these unprecedented times has been difficult enough, so why do we continue to burden ourselves with the notion that we have to keep improving our lives in some way? Isn’t this a good opportunity to allow ourselves to just be?
Don’t get me wrong, the end of each year is a great time to pause, reflect and think about ‘how to go on’ and re-centre ourselves as we transition into a new space. This process may bring about responses such as deciding to continue as you are, to recalibrate or to make radical shifts in certain aspects of your life.
However, when there’s a constant societal pressure to be better, more productive and therefore deserving or worthy (of existence?), you may subconsciously feel the need to improve whatever version of you that currently exists, therefore finding it difficult to accept yourself for who you are.
The problem arises when you feel the sudden need to make drastic changes to your lifestyle, such as committing to a new diet or going to the gym every day, simply because here is an opportunity for an upgraded version of you: ‘new year, new me’.
Under these circumstances, you’re likely to have set an unrealistic goal, perhaps even forgotten about the baby-steps it takes to make your way to a new habit or routine, and in doing so, set yourself up to fail.
It’s only the first week of a new year, so you may have kept up on your undertakings, but it's likely that you’ve ended up feeling bad about yourself for not following through.
I am writing this to remind you that a vast majority of people take several weeks and months, experience many setbacks, some of them take on the help of a therapist and maybe then are able to make meaningful, lasting changes to their lives.
Perhaps the only new year resolution we need is to be kinder to ourselves, and to those around us.
About the Author: Mallika Verma
Mallika Verma is a psychologist, and couples and family therapist. She has previously worked across a range of public and private healthcare settings in India and the UK. She now practices privately in Mumbai and Delhi. Learn more at: www.mallikaverma.com or get in touch with her on: mallikavermatherapy@gmail.com.
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